I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Essays by Sloane Crosley

"This is where the bridesmaids come in. We live in constant fear of "ruining the wedding." Weddings don't get damaged, they don't get mediocre: they get ruined.  One lost limo driver and the entire day goes from Zero to Destroyed faster than you can say Swarovski-encrusted Vera Wang."

Here is my thought process when I chose this book from the library:  Ooh what a pretty cover. Cake?! I love that title. Oh - it's essays.  I LOVE essays; I used to write one practically every week.  Shut up - the author's name is Sloane.  Like in Ferris Bueller?!  She's got to be awesome.

And with that, I brandished my library card and was on my way.  Not all of my book choices are as frivolous as this one.  

I judged this book by cover, by author, and by name.  I was blown away by how much I loved this collection of random essays.  Sloane tells these fantastic stories about her life in NYC; she makes losing her wallet, moving a few blocks, volunteering at the Museum of Natural History sound exciting and hilarious.

It should be noted that these stories aren't stories, though; they're essays. Each one has a strong lead, and a great conclusion.  Each one highlights her skills at turning catastrophic situations into learning experiences.  As a character, Sloane is a mis-adventurer.  As an author, Sloane writes with a familiar, yet educated, voice.  She crafts brilliant metaphors, while talking about her random collection of toy ponies given to her by ex-boyfriends, for example.

I liked Sloane because she was real to me.  I felt like I was reading her diary, at times.  Although I connected with her and her experiences as a 20-something female, I think that readers of different ages and genders could enjoy her highs and lows.  The bizarre collection of essay topics that find themselves between the cover page and the end sheet are hard to describe.  I liked all of them. Maybe you'll like a few.

♥ Meg xoxo

PS.  There is no cake in this book.  "I was told there'd be cake" is sort of tongue-in-cheek this way. And it makes me think of the Portal video games I only know about because of M; the cake is a lie. 

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